On the Hillside Path Where Idiots Flutter

[Densetsu Karu]

This was the day! On this very day, Sunohara Youhei would find love!! It was time for lunch -- meaning he had plenty of time to find the woman of his dreams!

That was his plan, anyway.

He had been planning to scout in the cafeteria for a pretty girl to talk to, but his growling stomach had won over his passionate heart. He had barely managed to obtain the coveted, elusive, beautiful treasure that was yakisoba bread, and with a mouthful stuffed into his cheeks, he left the cafeteria altogether. It was simply too busy and noisy in there for his esteemed womanizing techniques to work, he had figured. Instead, he would search for cuties elsewhere.

As he walked down the halls, he took large bites of his bread in-between peeking into open classrooms and scanning the landscape outside nearby windows. There were few women out at this time, and even fewer (read: none!) that happened to be both alone and one of the coveted, elusive, beautiful cuties of Hikarizaka. However, patience was a virtue well-rewarded by the gods of womanizing, and this was one sweet reward. In one of the rooms he happened to pass by, he had spotted a cutie!

Shoving the last of his bread into his mouth, he stepped into the room. It was almost like a library -- plenty of shelves were placed along the walls and in the middle of the room, filled with books. Oh, this was the reference room, wasn't it? He remembered hearing something about the former library becoming the reference room. In any case, he had something more important to focus his attention on. The cutie in question sat by the window, a cup of tea in hand, her expression a mixture of surprise and perplexment at his entrance. He waved enthusiastically, introducing himself, "Hello! The name's Sunohara Youhei."

She put down her cup, offering him an awkward smile. "Hello. My name is Miyazawa Yukine. What brings you here?" He noticed the red badge on her uniform, indicating that she was a junior. Perfect! No junior could resist his lascivious wiles! A big dopey grin formed on his face. "Oho, I'm a womanizer, you see... I'm looking for a beautiful woman!" He wiggled one eyebrow in an attempt to flirt, but it just came across like he has a nervous tic.

"I see... Well, if you're here for a spell, I have one that might help with that," said Miyazawa, pulling a book from the windowsill and flipping through its pages.

"Wait... a spell?" In his mind, events had been going so well that the apparent misunderstanding had completely deflated his bravado. He tensed his jaw, fixing her with a suspicious look.

"This is a spell that will allow you to meet your soulmate. Please, sit."

"My soulmate, eh...?"

Thouroughly intruiged, he sat in the chair across from her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was morning, before his first class for the day. He was cutting the time a bit close, but he was no stranger to being late, or skipping classes, for that matter.

"This is a complicated spell. To begin, you have to stand on a hill early in the morning."

Those were her words from the day before. He was standing on the cherry blossom-lined path that led up to the school. The path was pretty much on a hill, and he could walk up to school right after he completed the spell, so he figured he could hit two birds with one stone here.

"Next, you have to say..."

"Anpan."

"This begins the spell. From here, you can't laugh or add any extra words, or you'll break the spell. Next, you have to recite..."

"Do you like this school? I really, really like it."

It's a cute little poem, even if it didn't make a lot of sense. Hikarizaka was nothing special, and he would never admit in the standard context that he liked it. Nevertheless, he felt he could swallow his pride just this once for the sake of meeting his soulmate.

"But sooner or later, everything changes. The fun things, the happy things, all of it. Nothing can stay the same forever."

Even with Miyazawa's help, it took him a while to memorize the words. It was a bunch of confusing stuff, to be sure -- "fun things", "happy things" -- what sort of things? It was a poem of platitudes that he just couldn't understand. Still, he needed to say them all to complete the spell.

"Once you recite the final line, wait there. Don't move or turn around. Your soulmate will climb up the hill and respond to the poem."

"Even so, will I still be able to enjoy it here?"

This was it. The final line. He could barely hold in his excitement. Any second now, the woman of his dreams would speak to him. He tried to imagine what she would look like, but he just couldn't -- she was simply too beautiful for his imagination to come up with. This was it! This was the day! Sunohara Youhei would finally find love!

That was his plan, anyway.

[Okazaki Tomoya]

I hate this city. It's full of all the memories I want to forget about. Go to school every day, chat with friends, and then go back to the home I don't even want to go back to. Will something eventually change, doing this? Will that day come?

He let out a sigh as he stared at the hill before him. Today, like every other day, he would walk to the top of the hill, suffer through every boring class, and then come back down to waste whatever time was left until it was time to sleep. He knew the answer to his own question, and yet still hoped somewhere deep down that something would change this way. That this might be the day something happens...with that dying hope he began his trudge up the hill.

He soon happened upon a blonde idiot who shared a very similar position with him - though given the idiot's care-free attitude, he wouldn't be surprised if every single day was a fulfilling, adventure-filled journey that differed very much from his own, somewhat hollow and bleak outlook on life. The blonde had his eyes closed and seemed to be lost in thought...which made him an easy target to mess with. Far too easy. But what would be the perfect prank? As he began to brainstorm a few options, the blonde spoke up.

"Anpan."

Ew. It was just one word, but something about his expression and the way he said this one word disgusted him. He wasn't sure if the blonde was trying to be charming, cute, or endearing...but he was failing tremendously on all counts. Perhaps simply giving him a good kick in the-

"Do you like this school? I really, really like it."

What. Now while nobody could ever claim to intimately know Sunohara Youhei (at least nobody sane), Tomoya understood him enough to know that his opinion towards this school was very much the opposite of "like". Hatred. Rage. Even Apathy may qualify. But like? No. Definitely not. Not in a million years. Just what was he up to? He briefly glanced around, trying to see if Sunohara was the victim of some prank or punishment game. Not a soul in sight. It was just the two of them.

"But sooner or later, everything changes. The fun things, the happy things, all of it. Nothing can stay the same forever."

Was it a poem? Was he trying to memorize a poem? It seemed too simple to be classwork...not that Sunohara gave a damn about homework. Then...a girl? Was he trying to woo a girl? But then what the hell was with the 'Anpan'?

"Even so, will I still be able to enjoy it here?"

This must be his attempt at being deep. Or perhaps he was finally getting kicked out for his lack of attendance and this was his attempt at an apology speech. It was too early in the day to deal with this nonsense...and yet, it was too late to simply walk away.

"Just find them..."

He paused for a moment as the blonde suddenly opened his eyes and in that moment they locked eyes...surprise, anticipation, glee. These things were very plainly written all over the blonde's face. Unfortunately they were simply met with the deadpan stare of Okazaki Tomoya.

"...find literally anything else to say because that was awful. Who are you trying to fool? A girl? Or maybe a teacher? You'll have to work on your technique if you want to convince anyone with those lines."

[Densetsu Karu]

The anticipation sent a jolt of excitement down his spine. He quivered in place a bit. He could hear someone walking up the hill. Towards him! It was his beautiful soulmate, coming right towards him!! The spell had worked! He adjusted his posture, trying to stand tall and firm as to impress her. In just a few seconds, she would respond to the poem, and they would hit it off, and they'd skip school together and go on at least four dates, and maybe, just maaaaybe, at the end of the day, she would let him--

"Just find them..."

He snapped out of his daydream, eyes flying open. The voice was familiar. He locked eyes with the newcomer, his vision feeling blurred and slow. He was still smiling with eagerness of meeting a beautiful girl -- but before him was not one of the wonderful cuties of Hikarizaka. It was just Okazaki, staring back at him with his usual dull stare. Youhei stared back, his eager smile slowly shifting into a look of pure confusion.

"...find literally anything else to say because that was awful. Who are you trying to fool? A girl? Or maybe a teacher? You'll have to work on your technique if you want to convince anyone with those lines."

It took a few moments for Okazaki's words to sink in; after all, he was still preoccupied by the spell. Had it worked? Where was the girl? Had she passed him without him noticing? Was this one of Okazaki's tricks? Had he magicked her away? Or, maybe, was this entire spell an elaborate plot by Okazaki's hand? All of these and more flowed through Youhei's mind. He squinted with the mental strain of calculating each of these scenarios. Despite how much thought he was putting into the events, the idea that maybe, just maybe, Okazaki was the result of the spell had not occurred to him.

He gave up trying to make sense of the events, opting instead to take out his frustration on his classmate. His face scrunched up; he furrowed his brow, raised his nose, and his lips curled up to expose his teeth. He squinted at Okazaki and tilted his head, unwittingly giving Okazaku one of the dumbest looks his features would allow. His left hand balled into a fist, which he raised up to his ear and began to shake wildly. He intended for the action to seem like a threat, but the way he waved his fist to and fro made it seem more comical than anything.

"Okazaki, get out of here!" he screeched. "The spell wasn't for you!"

It was by hearing his own words leave his lips that caused the other shoe to drop.

"Your soulmate will climb up the hill and respond to the poem."

It couldn't be...

His soulmate... The spell...

Okazaki?!

He blanched. All of the colour in his face, at first red from the frustration and confusion, had drained, leaving him as pale as a sheet. He took a few steps back, eyes widening. There was no way! The spell had to be a sham. He didn't even swing that way! Only cuties were allowed in his heart! Th-this was all just a funny coincidence, right?! He stared at Okazaki, his face pure terror. Sure, he was a fine-looking guy, for a dude, but this had to be a mistake. Maybe Miyazawa had just read him the wrong spell, or... something!

Despite his own disbelief, he found himself voicing his concern as the most vague non-sequitur possible. "You're my soulmate?!"

[Okazaki Tomoya]

The many faces of Sunohara Youhei. Usually this meant he was working through some sort of mental gymnastics, but given his expressions you would think he was being exorcised. It was a real shame Sunohara didn't strive to be someone more accomplished like an engineer or doctor. He would have been the most popular person around with how many expressions he would make while he worked through complex problems. Then again, given how much the blonde thought on even simple things, perhaps that would be the case regardless of profession or social group.

"Okazaki, get out of here! The spell wasn't for you!"

Ah. So he had been right. But the colorful world of Sunohara's facial expressions didn't stop there. Soon the blonde's face had drained of all color and he seemed to have realized something presumably awful. Had he realized the futility of his actions? Or was the stare of a surprise visitor simply too much for him to handle? Despite the years they had spent together, Sunohara was still a box of mysteries Tomoya struggled to understand even at the best of times. Still. Sunohara was looking a bit too pale for the usual gymnastics. Tomoya's curiosity was peaked, and in response he raised an eyebrow at the blonde's stricken face.

"You're my soulmate?!"

He realized now had three options at this point. One: Pretend to throw up at the very notion of Sunohara's words. Not a bad idea, but it was too early in the morning for such overblown antics. Two: Walk away. If he went towards the school Sunohara would simply follow him, but if he turned around and walked home he could easily avoid this entire scenario...but ah...he didn't want to go home. So, it was with no other alternative available, he picked option three: Face value.

"Ah...I'm happy to hear you say that. But...I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about...guys."

His expression was genuine and held a gentle smile, as if he was trying to let the blonde down as gently as possible.

"But I'm glad you were finally able to be honest with me. It explains why you seem to be so close with those Rugby players. Now I really understand what happens when I'm not around and you make all those...sounds in the hallway."

He glanced to the side, pretending to be embarrassed by the thought, before quickly continuing to speak, preventing the blonde from responding or correcting his assumption.

"It's okay though. Really. I won't judge you. You're still the same Sunohara Youhei to me. This doesn't have to change anything between us. Thank you for having the courage to tell me how you really feel."

He finished with that same, soft, gentle smile, as if cementing his perceived intent of Sunohara's words with his own overwhelming acceptance.

[Densetsu Karu]

Okazaki stared at him with a blank expression for several agonizing seconds. It was hard to tell what Okazaki was thinking sometimes -- his expressions were sometimes so subtle that Youhei couldn't interpret what they meant. If he had to place Okazaki's current expression, it was somewhere in the realm of "contemplation". It seemed that he was seriously considering what Youhei had just implied with his previous outbursts. Somehow, Youhei paled even more in anticipation. Meanwhile, Okazaki's expression changed, forming a sincere, light smile.

"Ah...I'm happy to hear you say that. But...I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about...guys."

Neither did he! It was the spell's fault! This was not the result he had wanted! He had banged on the vending machine of life, hoping for two soda cans to fall as a result, but instead, the one he had paid for had stuck, and then the vending machine itself had fallen over and crushed him. Youhei felt like his soul was leave his body. His heart began to beat faster and faster as Okazaki's words sank further into his skull. Despite the growing need to fight or run courtesy of his old pal adrenaline, Youhei's mind was slowed by shock, and his lips were even slower. All he could do is widen his eyes as Okazaki continued on.

"But I'm glad you were finally able to be honest with me. It explains why you seem to be so close with those Rugby players. Now I really understand what happens when I'm not around and you make all those...sounds in the hallway."

No no no no no, go back! He had it wrong! Those Rugby players--! He opened his mouth to object, but froze again as Okazaki's words resumed.

"It's okay though. Really. I won't judge you. You're still the same Sunohara Youhei to me. This doesn't have to change anything between us. Thank you for having the courage to tell me how you really feel."

It was done. Okazaki's face glowed with warmth and acceptance, but Youhei had already departed from this mortal realm and could not interpret it. The husk of what was once Youhei wrinkled up its face once again, but this time, tears began to form in its eyes. Tears of frustration. Okazaki had ruined the spell! He must have scared off Youhei's real soulmate while his back was turned! This wasn't how he had imagined it! He took another step backward, but in his sorry state he immediately lost his footing. His feet left the ground for a few seconds. He screamed out of terror, those few seconds in the air passing at an agonizing pace. It was then that gravity remembered his existence and he dropped, his rear slamming into the ground with enough force to send the Earth off of its orbit.

"Okazakiiiii..." He whined from the ground in front of his classmate, looking up at him with desperation. "You've got it all wrong... I just wanted to meet my soulmate!"

Okazaki's warm smile faded, his expression returning to what Youhei would call "his usual unamused face". "Oh. Didn't anyone tell you growing up? Soulmates aren't real."

Nooooooooooooooooo!

Was he admitting to scaring away Youhei's would-be soulmate? Was he admitting to messing up the spell? Or -- the unthinkable -- he was right, and Youhei been fooled by the spell. He was saying that soulmates weren't real, and Youhei would never find love. He would live out his whole life in utter loneliness. He would never find a girlfriend. He stumbled to his feet, his lips curled into an extreme frown. He stuttered for a few seconds, trying to formulate a response, but the implications of Okazaki's words were so disheartening that he couldn't. So, instead, he gave in to adrenaline and ran.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he dashed back down the hill. One could hear a single phrase from the boy as he fled from his classmate.

"Okazaki, how could youuuuuu!"