- Unbearable -

Probably unecessary to even put as a title, but that very word describes an emotion that has sent me over the edge.

I can barely tolerate and handle that I do not carry the one necessity required for not only high school assignments (projects, worksheets, tests, quizzes, etc...) and college, but for here in order to roleplay and to interact with a handful of you in a much quicker, easier, and less tedious manner.

I barely have any idea what goes on outside of this website alone, and can't interact with a number of you when it would be easy for both sides. I have even lost my courage with the truth that I can never be truly communicable with any of you in the way most of you are with each other. I will be blunt and confess that I do not consider myself even a true individual that is a part of this family, nor do I deny the possible fact that I am no longer close to a number of you anymore.

It is the truth that I do not doubt for a moment that there is life being brought back here to this place. Some that have even left long ago are being brought here by either the memories of what occurred here, or to simply keep a site once dead alive again. There are many factors that drew each of us here - brought us all together even if as a group we may not be the most compatible.

Regardless, I can also barely stand the certain unfortunate experiences I have come across here without them adding more onto my mind. Otherwise, I will suffer more than I can ever bear with. Already I have sought refuge to this home for those problems to only find me again, and there is little I can do at this point. To say the very least, certain experiences that can still be considered recent have turned me into a rather unapproachable person these days.

I don't wish for this site to suffer or members who even attempt to communicate with me. It's not healthy nor fun when one communicates with a bitter, emotionless, and brutally honest person.

I can barely even stand continuing on with this message.

Nevertheless, farewell to the home I once called 'safe'.
Farewell to the members whom I once grew close to.
Farewell to the fun times.

I don't know when I will return, or if I even will.

It all depends on what transpires through the year.

Sincerely,

Miyu

[Akiyama Sukoto]

Dear Miyu,

      I'll say this as an opener. I don't blame you. I can understand the weight of personal situations, those dreaded moments of self-hatred and pity. I can understand how they hinder you, and they chip away at you until there's nothing left. To be honest, stress and the ever growing presence of anxiety was my main reason of absence for that brief month. I was broken, shattered like a piece of porcelain. I did almost nothing, I had little to no appetite, it was horrible, to say the least. Every waking moment was brutal.

    I don't think I ever really knew you. No, that's a lie. I didn't know you, I couldn't have, not in this short time I've been here. Still, I've regarded you as highly as a best friend, not because you are one, but because you could have been. I think, perhaps, that I could have come to know you, I just needed time. Maybe, somewhere out there, in the vast expanse of different universes and such I did. Maybe I found this site earlier, before it shut down. Maybe I became a part of this family when I was able to. But not here, not this me.

   I will admit, at times I envied you, and at others I idol-ed you. Your way of writing was something beautiful that I could have never achieved. It all depended upon how I felt. Really, my life still depends on that factor. At some points, I can look at a painting and consider it a masterpiece. On others, I'd just call it stupid. Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that there are others who are like you. You're not alone. Not even when you are lonely, you are not alone. Remember that, never forget. Not even after you've long since left this site for good, don't forget it. 

   And don't forget, you played a part in the revival of this site, or at least, what has transpired of it so far. If it was't for you, my main thread would've gone unanswered and that would have beget me to leave. And, without the small amount of activity we stirred up, I doubt those new members would've joined. So, don't forget this either, you were the one who changed everything with me. As you sought refuge in this place, I have as well, and without the small amount of comfort that my few threads gave me, I doubt I could've come out of that pitiful trance as I did. You are the reason I am here now.

   I'll admit, I'm more than saddened to see you go, even if I have no right to do so. After all, I don't know you. I don't. I wasn't a part of this family, nor will I ever be. Though, that scarcely matters in the thick of things, doesn't it? I can only think about if I'd arrived earlier. Still, such a talented person as you will go places, that I am sure of. 

   If only I'd gotten to know you, then perhaps I'd know what this feeling in my heart is.

   Sincerely, and offering a final goodbye to someone he knew, somewhere miles and universes and galaxies and eternities and infinities away,

Last

Now, if I may, I shall offer up a song to you...


Dango, dango, dango dango, dango daikazoku~...Dango....Dango...Dango...Dan-