Tachibana Kaori (WIP)

||| TACHIBANA KAORI |||

Kaori

---

#Name; Tachibana Kaori
#Age ; 17
#Gender ; Female
#Sexuality ; Hetrosexual
#D.O.B. ; 13th July
#Occupation ; High school student
#Year and class ; 3-B

---

---

#Height ; 5ft 5"
#Weight ; 120lbs
#Physique ; Small, slightly frail and slender.
#Hair color and style ; Long, flowing, black hair which she either wears down or in a ponytail.
#Eye color ; Pale Blue.
#Other appearance details (optional) ; Her skin is pale with a light dusting of light brown freckles.
#Clothing styles ;

Kaori pretty much adheres to the school rules and wears her school uniform in the correct fashion when at school. Outside of school, she wears a variety of clothing. She has a tendency to wear hooded sweatshirts, t-shirts, casual shirts, jeans, track clothing and trainers. If she is lounging at home, then she will wear track clothing or a hooded sweatshirt, tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. If she is hanging with friends then her normal attire is either a hooded sweatshirt, t-shirt, jeans and trainers or a casual shirt, jeans and trainers. She will occasionally wear dresses or a smart top and skirt if she is going out to dinner with family.

#A more thorough description (optional) ; N/A

---

---

#Personality ; 

Kaori is completely different in personality to her twin sister Aya. Aya takes after their mother in personality, being a confident, outgoing and fiesty person as do her older sisters but Kaori doesn't. Kaori is a calm, quiet and gentle girl and is the only one in her family who takes after her father in personality. She is often the voice of reason when her mother and sisters clash or if her friends are clashing and this nearly always seems to calm the situation down. In school, as one might expect, she is shy around people who are total strangers or who she doesn't know that well. However if someone were to ask her for help on something like homework, then she will willingly help them out as she seem to enjoy helping people like that, which bodes well for the future as she would like to be a teacher. It is this gentle nature that seems to attract people of similar natures to her. She is nearly always found helping out at least one of her friends and her classmates if they ask her, with schoolwork and home work and in her spare time, looking after her younger nieces and nephews. She does have a playful side too but normally only shows that with her closest friends. 

She does tend to hide her feelings of being upset or hurt until it eventually comes out as anger though. She can be can be quite stubborn about this and will repeatedly tell people that she is fine even when it is clear to friends, family and others that she is not. Though it takes a lot to annoy the girl, when she does eventually crack, it can be quite a sight. When someone has pushed her to breaking point, then normally she ends up yelling at them. For someone who is normally so calm, it can be quite scary.

---

---

#History ;

17 year old Kaori and her older twin sister Aya were born on a warm summer's day in Hikarizaka hospital. They are the youngest in a family of six daughters born to middle class parents Akemi and Haru. Kaori had a happy childhood alongside her sisters who looked out for her and she for them and whom she is very close to. Kaori and her siblings all showed signs of being bright from an early age, they all spoke their first words at 15 months and by the time each of them were six years old, they were reading books meant for nine year olds.

Kaori's parents Akemi and Haru and were childhood sweethearts, marrying soon after leaving university. Both of them work in a legal firm, her mother as a clerk and her father as an advisor. Two of her four older sisters who are 19 and 21 respectively, are at university and the other two who are 23 and 25 years of age respectively work in Hikarizaka. 


By the time she was sixteen, Kaori was really enjoying school life with a good group of friends including Ryota and Yuuta who all attended the same high school as her. The other close friends she made when she started high school have now graduated but she still sees them regularly. Kaori really enjoys being around her crush and childhood friend Yuuta, she always seems to be more bubbly and playful when she is with him.

---

---

The Roleplayer's Corner

#Nickname ; S-L, Saz

#Age ; 27

#Gender ; Female

#Seen the anime/played the visual novel? ; Seen the anime and have the manga.

#How did you find us? ; Typed in 'Clannad rpg' on google and directed to the rpg directory site and clicked on the link initially. I joined as Kaori Honda, but left after a short time due to some major RL issues. However as things settled down, I found myself coming to check back. Have recently rejoined and plan on sticking around this time, no matter what XD.

#Sample RP ; 


The sun sat high in the clear blue sky, and the cherry blossoms were gently swaying in the breeze as Kaori walked the familiar path to school. Suddenly she heard her name being called and looked up to see her childhood friend and crush, Yuuta jumping up and down and waving his hands like mad. Seeing him, Kaori quickened her pace, wondering what on earth had happened. Once she was close to him, she stopped, her heart pounding with nerves, to listen to him. 

Yuuta clasped his hands together and said, "Have you finished the English homework due for today and can I copy it? Please I'm begging you."



Kaori looked at him for a moment and almost let out a visible sigh of relief. So that's all it was? She had half a mind to tease him and say that she had done the homework so he couldn't. But she knew that she could never do that to him, she was too much of a softy to deny him. Plus every time she looked at him, she could feel her heart skipping beats. Was this love? Who knew?

With a grin and a slight shake of the head Kaori replied, "Geez you're hopless. Sure you can copy it, only this once mind. I'll give it to you in homeroom."



Yuuta said, "Thank you, you're the best."



Kaori could feel her face starting to get warm at the comment, replied, "No problem" with a smile as her heart gave a thump when he thanked her.

[Okazaki Tomoya]

Hey, thanks for applying! As you know the site is currently in a bit of a hiatus, so we have a rule going around that you are free to post anything you want in the Other World section without approval but should go through the formal process to post anywhere else. So with all that said, on to the app.

Looking over everything, it seems you have a good foundation here but I would recommend you look at some other apps and see what is more to be expected. Basically more of everything would benefit you a lot here, as every section seems relatively sparse. Don't misunderstand me here though when I say more, as I'm not asking for just more fluff. Rather, take some time to really develop your character and turn them into a real person rather then just face with a few tropes attached to it. For example, the personality and history sections seem to have no relation to each other despite the fact that Kaori has had a very difficult life going through constant hospital visits. If this were an app for Tomoya, one might say that his personality trait of being distant from other students stems from his delinquency which stems from his history. You don't need to explicitly say these things and I'm not actually recommending you update your app in this manner, but rather I'm giving you ideas of how to form your app in such a way that it forms a cohesive whole and really shows off that this is a character that's worth remembering and worth paying attention to.

I'd give the same recommendation for your sample RP as well. There doesn't really seem to be much happening here...and that's okay, there doesn't need to be constant action or development in every RP post. But if I were to ignore your application and ONLY read your RP sample, I would have no idea who your character is. She might as well be an NPC character in a video game who's only job is to give some basic line of dialogue like "You can do it!" or something. I don't mean this to sound harsh, but again, really try and work on making your person into a real person. More detail can definitely help you here. I can see Kaori has a personality by her words here, but when I can only see the surface it's hard to become invested in her. Does her heart flare up when Yuuta thanks her? How did she feel when her crush/child-hood friend asked her yet again for help on her homework? Relieved? Helpless? These are the things you may want to think about when posting that will really make your character a joy to interact and RP with.

What else do you think I could add to personality? *has fleshed it out a bit more* And you weren't being harsh, in fact your advice was quite helpful ^^

[Densetsu Karu]

Okay, first off, apologies for making you wait so long for our re-review of your application. There's no excuse for it; I should have looked over everything much sooner. Thank you very much for your patience.

I'm going to quote from Vivo's post a bit. With each quote I'll flesh out some of his points, because it seems you haven't entirely grasped at what he was saying. That's not a bad thing, but his review had a lot of good advice on how to go about your character.

Nov 4, 2014 16:23:34 GMT -6 Okazaki Tomoya said:

Looking over everything, it seems you have a good foundation here but I would recommend you look at some other apps and see what is more to be expected. Basically more of everything would benefit you a lot here, as every section seems relatively sparse. Don't misunderstand me here though when I say more, as I'm not asking for just more fluff. Rather, take some time to really develop your character and turn them into a real person rather then just face with a few tropes attached to it. For example, the personality and history sections seem to have no relation to each other despite the fact that Kaori has had a very difficult life going through constant hospital visits.

(Bolded for emphasis.)

We, as humans, are shaped by our experiences -- it's one of the fundamental things that causes us to form a personality. As it stands now, your personality and history sections seem similar to a checklist. A few traits in one, a few events in the other, but they don't really fit together. Your personality and history should be cohesive; after all, Kaori had a lot of difficulties in her childhood. How does this reflect in her character? What kind of person has she become based on the things she's gone through? However, we aren't solely shaped by our difficulties. Why is she kind, caring, and loyal? When I read your character's personality, I should be able to have a basic idea of what kind of past your character had. As things are now, your personality and history sections seem disconnected.

What Vivo said about reading other applications might be of significant help to you. You could even just look at the characters from Clannad. Look at how characters work, how they work as people-- because, on Dango Daikazoku, we want a world where the characters could be real. Clannad itself accomplishes this feeling. Nagisa, Tomoya, and everybody else... They all feel very real. Since we're a Clannad roleplay forum, it's only right that we capture that feeling too.

I'm looking forward to seeing your revisions. Good luck!