Taking Unsound Advice

[sunohara]

Friends for all of 2 years now, one might assume that Sunohara knew when and when not to take Tomoya seriously, but his current exploit was solid proof that it just wasn't in the stars. Maybe it was blind trust in a friend, maybe it was Sunohara's own wishful thinking or maybe (more than likely actually.) he was more gullible then a lemming with down-syndrome. Whatever the case he'd taken Okazaki's advice and was in the process of breaking a few school rules in this escapade no doubt. Let the suspense be lifted, Youhei had positioned himself in front of a propped up floor sign which read, "girl friend auditions here." Right above the text was a arrow pointing at Sunohara who was wearing one of the most conceited expression that his face could manage. There was a lot of shade in the court yard and people genuinely tried to talk within it, but in order to draw attention to himself he stood in the blazing sunlight which everyone else was trying to avoid. How long was he supposed to stand out here anyway? What was he supposed to do if a girl even showed up? If it worked Youhei was all for it, as long as the girl was really cute that is.

Still even Sunohara was starting to get the sneaking suspicion that this was a trap. For one thing Sunohara didn't have to do any work. Okazaki went through the trouble of setting up the whole thing by himself, all Youhei had to do was stand right where he was. One thing he kept mentioning was about how "Fishermen had to be patient or else they'd never catch the big one." So the longer Sunohara waited... the better chance he had of landing a BIG ONE! Still a lot of girls were just walking by giving him a odd stare as if his skin was falling off or something on those lines. Obviously though it just meant that they didn't feel worthy enough to try, or maybe just too nervous. But back to the original thought, since when did Tomoya ever do something nice for him? By all rights the guy SHOULD but it didn't mean he WOULD. Okazaki did come over and use his dorm room all the time, watched his DVD's, listened to his CD's, ate his food and in return all he ever got was a mountain of very creative pranks. This must of been the turning point, for all that punishment that his partner in crime put Sunohara through he was finally going to reward him with a girl friend. Despite not looking for women, Okazaki had a lot better luck with them than his counter part.

Right! That meant that if he followed his friends instructions to a T then by the end of the day he'd have a big fish! Wait that came off a bit bad, he didn't want a big one he wanted a thin one with a nice body and maybe a little extra up top wouldn't hurt! After all he was a senior, a bunch of over developed underclassmen should laud the chance to be able to have a guy like himself. That damn feeling about this being another Tomoya prank just kept eating at him though. No no no! Okazaki wanted to help, Sunohara had to stick to the plan. So after standing for a while, his instructions were to strike suave posses and compare the nearest girl to the color of her shoes and compliment the weather. 3 2 1, time to kick it off!

One such female had the initial luck of not noticing Youhei in the first place, however when Sunohara called out to her that luck spun in the opposite direction. Setting his chin inside the curve of his fist and sliding the thumb up his jaw line for support; Sunohara propped one leg on one of the school benches while addressing her, with a quick glance at the color of her shoes so he'd have the proper material. "My my sweet cheeks, you seem to love to walk on darkness. If you need a shining light like the sun above to clear that infinite black; then look no further!"... THIS SOUNDED SO UNNATURAL! Stick to the plan... stick to the plan!

[Sakamoto Mitsuko]

”Well, this will probably be something worth watching,” Mitsuko mumbled to herself as she saw Sunohara’s little….stand.

Just about every girl in school knew how much of a lech Sunohara could be. This, however, was probably the stupidest idea he had ever had. That was saying something considering he had a lot of stupid ideas over these last few years she had known him. Still, as long as he wasn’t trying to get with her, he could be entertaining to watch, especially when some of the girls ‘fought back.’ Also, and this was her little protective side coming in, if he tried to mess with the underclassmen she might need to intervene. Oh, sure, they probably would have to learn to get used to some perverts, and Sunohara was admittedly one of the less harmful ones, but he was also one of the more persistent ones. Knowing how innocent some of those lower classmen could be, a little help wasn’t bad.

Wanting to get comfortable and watch the show that would unfold should Sunohara begin to act out, Mitsuko took a seat on a bench with a juice box out of his sight but good for her viewing. Considering the girls in this school like Kyou, champion dictionary thrower, and Tomoyo, who she had heard rumors of being a great fighter, there was a good chance someone would beat the crap out of him. Even the ones who couldn’t usually had a choice word or two for him. The innocent ones, well, it was kind of funny to watch their reactions to him. If he was a little too persistent about it, however, then she would step in. If he was just his normal level of aggressive stupidness, then it would be fine. Most people could deal with him when he was trying to be cheesy after all. He might have thought himself a Casanova or Romeo, but he was neither, though he might end up dead like the latter one of these days.

After about ten minutes of watching, however, it seemed to be pretty obvious that nobody was coming. Apparently most of these people knew to stay clear of Sunohara. With her juicebox empty, and no entertainment in sight, Mitsuko was starting to think this was a waste of time. Obviously bored, she had been playing around with the straw, bending it into shapes and such to entertain herself as she watched Sunohara just sit there, waiting like some kind of fishermen waiting for a fish. Since that was always the least entertaining part of fishing, Mitsuko was about head off and just let him sit there when an idea hit on her. If Sunohara was wanting a fish, maybe she would just give him one. She had nothing better to do, and it would be kind of fun messing with him. Maybe he’d finally get a lesson in not being such a lech….or at least she would have a fun time screwing with him.

Of course, he might be suspicious if she just walked up to him. So instead, she was going to ‘act’ a little bit. She had her schoolbooks with her, and holding them up against her chest did some work towards making a little bit of an ‘innocent schoolgirl’ look. Throwing the juicebox away, she started to walk by his stand, acting like she didn’t even notice the stand at all. Just as expected, he ended up calling out to her. A little ‘surprised’, she turned around like she didn’t know where the voice came from before noticing him. Walking over to him, she did her best to remain ‘confused’, but as he started to talk with one of the cheesiest lines she had ever heard, Mitsuko had to break out in a bit of a laugh.

”I-I’m sorry, that has got to be one of the WORSE pickup lines I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t even make SENSE, and it’s not even the good kind of cheesy,” she said in between laughs, calming down a little bit before readjusting herself and looking at him.

”But really, in all seriousness, do you really expect to pick up a girlfriend with a ‘girlfriend auditions’ stand? Is that the best idea you can come up with?”

[sunohara]

Wait wait, it was starting to work wasn't it? Okazaki was a genus! There were girls starting to look in his direction now for sure! Oh man, he was going to have to praise that fellow delinquent hard core when he finished up his date with such a cerulean haired beauty. While it may of been brief, Youhei had a much more... curved way of judging somethings effectiveness? Here was a pretty mature looking blue haired, wait blue hair? Is that even possible? Do people normally have blue hair?Maybe she dyed it that color, but then why go with blue? Maybe the summer going into fall weather prompted her to take blue because it wasn't as dark as black. Sunohara used to know a lot about stuff like that, different colors absorbed heat in more or less potent ways. That was middle school stuff and plus he tended to keep information in mind that might benefit his own life. Though that had nothing to do with the reason he'd dyed his hair blond. THAT WAS IT! They were dying buddies! People who changed their hair color just had a natural attraction to other people who did the same thing. It was so obvious, he should of came to this conclusion sooner.

Well there were other girls in the school that had unique hair colors though, like purple or other people with blue hair. Come to think of it, Misea had blue hair too, was this her daughter? They looked alike didn't they? Misea was what 23 and this girl was in this school making her 15-18?... DID THAT MEAN MISEA WAS PREGNANT AT 7 YEARS OLD?! Oh what a harsh cruel world this was! "Wait Sunohara, use a little more logic than that. Girl's don't get pregnant until usually 15, maybe its her sister? I CANT DATE MISEA'S SISTER! What was he going to do now? The situation made it awkward to blow her off. Honestly if someone set up a dating audition stand and then turned a girl down, her pride would be shot... then she'd tell her loving big sister and WHAM! Sunohara could be...

"Youhei, my little sister cried all night after you turned her down. She was in a lot of pain, now to bring balance... I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN A LOT OF PAIN!"

As the dream sequence in his merry little head ended, Sunohara dropped down on both knees practically already in tears from the pain that she was going to inflict on him." NO MISEA! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please forgive this worthless fool for his trespasses against your family." And now Sunohara was bowing his head rapid fire to absolutely no one (also was apologizing to the same no one) it was probably one of his more pathetic displays for the week. Course there was still 5 more days to top this one, don't sell Sunohara short he could still do stuff much more bizarre than this. In fact every "good idea" he ever comes up with makes talking to a invisible person and begging its forgiveness look completely stable. The real problem became when he left reality entirely, which it was pretty clear that had already happened. Apparently the pressure of finally actually getting girl was a little more then his tenacity could endure.

" Ok Sunohara, you know what you have to do. Get this girl to not want to date you then tear down the stand! Okazaki may of had honest and good intentions with it, but hes going to get me killed. Or worse, kicked out of my dorm room! Then i'd have to return home and let my parents see what i've become! " Sunohara had to calm down, breath, deal with this situation rationally and with a level head. Oh god, she was talking to him. What was she saying? His mind was so wrapped up in the punishment that was awaiting him that Misea's sisters words weren't even going into his head. Wait wait, it was clearing up... he could almost hear her! Focus focus, that was it easy does it Sunohara. Finally her words became hearable when she asked " Is that the best you can do?" She was obviously disappointed with something, Youhei didn't know what it was but this was his best shot at actually getting her to be the one to lose interest in their relationship first. Shooting forward his hands latched onto the girls shoulders with a look of absolute desperation in his eyes. "Yes, that is the best I can do! Wasn't it disappointing? I don't do any better, you can find a guy a lot better then me! You have to find one better then me! Don't you understand how important this is?!" Was that the kind of reaction she was after? Anyone wanna bet that Tomoya was watching this from some where having the time of his life?

[Sakamoto Mitsuko]

Mitsuko knew that Sunohara was weird, but she didn’t expect to see him drop down on his knees and start begging to someone named Misae about, well, something that she had absolutely no clue about. In fact, she didn’t know any Misae, unless he was talking about the Misae from the dormitories that sports scholarship people lived in. If that was the case, what the hell was he talking about? She didn’t have any relation to her. While the display he was making was rather funny and worth the watch, that level of idiocy had to be dealt with. Besides, why in the world did he think she was related to her? They didn’t look alike, did they? Of course, from what she understood, that wouldn’t be that bad. She was supposed to be a rather good looking woman from what she heard from around school. Still, this was just a level of stupidity that could not be endured by her, even from Sunohara. Also, the begging was getting out of hand and just looked pathetic enough she had to do something about it.

Of course, before she could say anything, she found Sunohara grabbing her by the shoulders, asking if what he said was disappointing and that she could find someone better than him. While that statement was true (just about any boy could be better than him), it was based on an idiotic assumption; that she was somehow related to Misae. Also, she didn’t want him touching her on her shoulders like this, so she was quick to duck a little and get out from underneath his grip. Free, she began to call him out a little on his stupidity.

”Okay, let’s get this straightened up,” she started, some slight irritant tone to her voice but more of a ‘what the hell are you doing?’ tone,”First off, my name is Sakamoto Mitsuko, and you better stick with Mitsuko-san before you get any ideas. Second, I’m in no way related to Misae, if you’re talking about the one from the dormitory. Third, don’t touch me.”

With that done, it was time to get back to messing with Sunohara a little bit. Now that he knows she isn’t related to Misae, he would probably be a little bit more willing to talk with her. After all, it meant no threat of attack from the dorm mother, who many thought was a prowrestler in past life. Now what to do to mess with him? All she knew was going on a date with him was a little too far, but a little harmless flirting wouldn’t be. As long as she kept it in a way that could be either purposeful flirting or innocent innuendo. Ironically enough, between the two of them, people would probably believe her word over his should he try to accuse her of something. So then, it was time to let the games begin.

”Anyway, I just say your girlfriend ‘auditions.’ It did seem to be a pretty bad idea if you asked me, and a little out of character for you. I’ve heard you’re rather aggressive in your pursuit of women. Doesn’t seem like you’d be the one to sit behind a desk and wait for someone.”

Seeing as his chair was now open, Mitsuko decided to sit down on the chair. She was tempted to prop her legs up on the stand, but remembering that Sunohara was here and she was in a skirt, she resisted the idea. She’d have to do it when she had pants or a longer skirt or something. Stupid summer uniform and smaller skirts. Still, she was rather relaxed in the chair, continuing her comments from a second ago as she hung an arm on the back of the chair.

”So then, do I meet your criteria for your ‘girlfriend auditions?”

[/blockquote]

[sunohara]

After losing his grip on the girl, he’d fallen straight to the ground underneath the bench. Right now his mind wasn’t really worried about a shift in gravity or the impact that happened after, falling off a skyscraper would be more preferred then one of his occasionally beatings from Misae. What if it happened? What if Sunohara returned home in utter failure! It was inevitable though right? Youhei knew that this was his senior year and in no way did he have enough credits for college. A simple truth was going to be realized by the end of this school year and all the money that his folks dropped into keeping him here. OH THIS JUST WASN'T FAIR! If Sunohara pursued his dream he became a doormat for a bunch of bastards who wouldn’t know what the essence of soccer was if it kicked them in the face. There was no reason to work for a goal that was already out of his reach, this school sucked, this whole town was just built to suffocate dreams. Youhei could almost hear his English teacher using the American phrase of “Life is too short to be little.” Whatever the heck that was supposed to mean. Actually Youhei wasn’t really raised in reality, most of his life was lived on 2 dreams. Growing up it was all about becoming a world famous soccer player and now it seemed to center more on finding a totally attractive girl to share his life with. Both of which seemed to be failing until Misae’s sister presented herself. Maybe if he asked the dorm mothers permission first? Another swift mental image of what would happen caught his mind and it didn’t end in a very good light. Misae claimed not to like violence, but she sure used it a lot. Sunohara don’t listen to your music so loud, Sunohara stop encouraging the rugby team, Sunohara don’t leave food out, it was enough for him to grasp just why they were called dorm “mothers”. Still she was really cute, but if this was just a younger version of her then… then… this one would just put his body in submission holds too!

Wait wait, calm down Youhei. Looking at this from a different perspective this was a girl and girls can’t beat a guy in a fight; maybe some guys that were total weaklings but definitely not Sunohara Youhei. This really wasn’t about fighting though; this was about making a easy break so that this girl didn’t feel the need to tell Misae about this incident. Why didn’t she mention she had a younger sister though? Was she scared that Youhei might try and pick up on her like… he just did? Ok so maybe she did have reason to worry; a lot of fathers were protective of their daughters too. His dad guarded Mia from every little prick and scratch that came down the pike, in that way the two of them were a lot alike in that they wanted to protect the women that were important in their lives. This was just something that men did; it was their call to duty and all that. Like in the movie when a man demands that only the women and children get on the life rafts first. Yeah, that’s something that Youhei could do. Another 3 minute dream sequence took place there with Youhei fighting some guys that tried to get on the life rafts first and holding his thumb up out of the water as the ship sank with him still aboard. Everyone cried and thanked him as they drifted away to safety, YEAH! Totally a cool way to go! “Don’t cry for me everyone, I died a mans death.” He’d prop one leg up on the school bench with a hand on his chest to show his absolute pride. This kid didn’t seem fit to exist in reality, his mind totally went off to sea without him… and apparently let him sink to the bottom of that ocean floor.

Back on the reality front, he’d spot the girl from before still there. Youhei had to give her props, usually when he got lost in one of his day dreams most people disappeared. Okazaki usually did something bizarre to his body that Sunohara couldn’t see but the rest of the world could. That’s why on reflex he felt around his chest and head area for any anomalies that might have taken place while in his dream like state. Once he confirmed that everything on his person was how it was supposed to be, he was able to listen to this girl even though her tone was kind of dull… like a old time book narrator or something or that lady you called to find out what time it was. Why did the world need one of those anyway? There were lots of watches, clocks and cell phones in the world. What was the word that he was looking for though that made this girl so… so… eh? Oh yeah, BOSSY! God he wasn’t really a fan of people telling him what to do, the more meek and timid girls were his thing. Without even responding to Sakumoto yet, Youhei dumped the sign that had brought her to him in the trash bin. If these were the kind of girls that’d he’d have to deal with then Sunohara was going to elect to search for a female on his own terms. Tomoya tried real hard to help his friend but this method just wasn’t the way to go about it. Brushing his hands off as if it were a job well done, he’d turn back to Mitsuko noting that the “Child of Light.” was more like the sun than a lamp. The sun stayed bright all day and influenced the world whether it wanted it or not. Merciless to some, merciful to others depending on where you were in the world. A lamp on the other hand could be controlled; the light was only one when you needed it. “I think I’ll just call you Konnichi-sama.” That name may have seemed like a compliment, but really in the context in which Sunohara derived it from in was more a sarcastic title.

Well he supposed he should at least deal with some of what she was saying, was this some underclassmen or something? She sure came off as one, not that they weren’t datable but a fellow senior would have been more preferred in the first place. It was easier to believe she wasn’t Misae’s sister now; they did have different personalities and out of the tree’s shadows it was easier to see that her hair leaned more purple. “Whichisstillabizarrehaircolor.” That was mumbled under his breath, she’d probably be a bit hard pressed to try and figure out what he said, mostly because his Japanese was usually spoken in bad Japanese. Keikeikaikai came off as more like Kekekiki because really he just didn’t put enough emphasis behind his words. Usually people still knew what he was saying, but still flinched at how construed the wording was. Walking a few paces out so he was out of arms reach incase she tried to hit him for anything he might be about to say (which was a mentally acknowledgement that he was going to say something that could piss her off.) he’d begin his reply with his back facing Sakumoto. “Well I like the decisions that come out of my head, because they are mine. No one else has to, just because other people don’t have the guts to put themselves out there doesn’t mean I don’t. Sides, wasn’t even my idea. I have a close friend who’s trying to help me out. But you’re right about one thing, this isn’t my style. I’ll just end up getting stuck up chicks if I use this method.” That probably would have been a good speech if he left the last part of it. Still she tried to insult him, so why not give what he gets? Actually her insult was more focused on Okazaki and Sunohara wouldn’t stand for someone insulting his best friend in the world! On her final question he felt his cheeks get a little hotter, what did she just say? This is when Youhei turned to face her seeing Sakumoto in a much more… adult light than before? “Uh…well… that is… umm…” A girl never showed interest before, what was he supposed to do?

[Sakamoto Mitsuko]

Sunohara had apparently lost his mind as she approached him. Not really sure what to do. His mind apparently went into its own little world for a while. Wanting to see all of this through, however, Mitsuko decided to stay around and wait for him to wake up from whatever daydream it was that he was having. Or a day-nightmare, if that was a possible situation. Seeing as this might take some time, however, Mitsuko sat down on the bench and just waited. It was boring, at least until he put his foot up on the bench and yelled out something about a man’s death. Getting up when that foot came down, Mitsuko just mumbled under her breath as he acted like an idiot.

”Got to be a man to die a man’s death in the first place.” she mumbled with a slight laugh as Sunohara apparently returned himself to the real world. He began patting himself down, as if he had expected that something might have happened to his body. Admittedly, she was half-tempted to do something to him, but had let it slide so she wouldn’t wake him from his day dream. Still, she had to raise a slight eyebrow as he did that since, well, it just seemed a little paranoid.

”Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything to you.” she added, just letting the boy know he didn’t have a need to be paranoid. If she wanted to do something to someone, she would have done it with him still conscious and not in a daydream. It wasn’t fun if they didn’t get the full enjoyment of the experience, was it?

Still just standing there, she watched as Sunohara threw away the sign for his stand. Apparently either she was a good enough girl, or she wasn’t and he had just given up his search. Either way, at least she had stopped him from going after girls in the weirdest way possible. On the downside, however, it also meant that now he would be roaming the school for girls instead of being in one safe spot someone could keep an eye on him. Oh well, there was always someone roaming the halls, ready to intervene in some of Sunohara’s more lecherous pursuits. He eventually turned back to her, and apparently completely ignored her request about the name, deciding to call her Konnichi-sama instead. Being called a goddess would normally be a good thing, but there was a pretty good chance that he was just calling her that to be sarcastic. Plus she had requested a specific name…ah, who cares. Getting Sunohara to call her a goddess, even if he meant it to be sarcastic, was going to be fun enough for her.

”Mmmm, okay then, that works for me.” she replied with a bit of a sly grin. How he got to the thing about being the goddess of the sun was weird, but probably from her name. She never bothered trying anything fancy with its meaning before though. Still, if he wanted her to be the sun, she would be. For now she would be a little bit brutal, like a hot summer sun. She could save the desert-causing heat of death for later. Just a little pressure on him would be fine for now.

She heard him mumble something but ignored it, instead focusing on just relaxing on her chair as he began to respond at everything that she had said. His independence streak was becoming a little more obvious as he mentioned liking his decisions even if no one else did. That was fine and all, though sometimes bending to the crowd could be a good idea. Then again, he also had just admitted that it was his friends idea. Considering the only friend of his that she knew about was Tomoya, she had to smile. That explained everything. She knew Tomoya just enough to know he liked pranks, and that no one was safe from him. In fact, apparently Sunohara was the most common victim of his pranks. This had to be one of his pranks then. With that in mind, Sunohara’s stupidity was dropped down to just the level of following someone else’s stupid idea and a failure to recognize a prank, not coming up with the stupid idea itself.

”Well, I’ll at least giving you credit for being able to follow through with the idea. And a stubbornness to follow your own ideas can be admirable depending on the situation. And good for you for going back to your old style. I’m sure it worked grand before.” she replied with a fake enthusiasm on that last bit. Considering neither way he had been going at it work, and he thought this way only got him stuck-up chicks, then it was obvious he had no clue what he was doing. Which would make her little plan even more fun, especially since he became rather tongue-tied after last comments about meeting his ‘criteria.’

”Aw, come on, it’s just a simple question, a moment of curiosity on my part. Or should I take your tongue-tied state to mean that I pass?” she said, giving a bit of a smug smile as she awaited a response from him.

[/blockquote]

[sunohara]

Woo was she still here? That had to be a record right? Most of the time anything that fell under the category of female would of B-lined it away by now. Should be admire her for that? Or just find himself pathetic? No way, Youhei Sunohara was the opposite of pathetic! What was the opposite of pathetic though?... Rubbed fingers along his lower chin looking skyward while in the thinking process. It just wasn't coming to him, there was only one thing to do! Consult a dictionary! Boy where were those when ya needed it? The few times he went to class some chick with purple hair nailed him right in the skull with one. It worked as a good excuse NOT to go to class again though. It seemed unlike him to just let that kind of thing go, but Sunohara could be pretty forgiving, especially when that girl wasn't exactly very protective about preventing pantie shots... WAIT! He was about to get a new girl friend, had to stop thinking about that kind of stuff.

Why was his new girl talking about being a man?... AWW COME ON! Was his lucky really THAT bad?! No way, no way... she was waaaaay to kawaii. Oh wait! That's why they invented that new Japanese word for trap, could Youhei really just pay attention to the female appearance and accept that it was a guy? Would his pride really be able to endure this? What a problem, what a conundrum, what a quandary! There had to be a easy solution; flip a coin, draw straws, pick a name out of a hat? Why go through so much effort to look like a girl then announce to being a guy...this Sakamoto really didn't get how traps worked, they were supposed to keep their secret... well secret! Now Youhei was stuck in this quagmire of a situation. To date or not to date, that is the question? "No one said you got to be a man, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOPPED TOO SOON!" Oh have fun trying to decipher that.

Youhei was pretty panicked at this point and was starting to pace again. This kid rarely held still very long, he seemed to get more energy by doing this that normally reduced that kind of vigor. Should he have a open mind for these kinds of things? Was this crossdresser going to just admit to the whole school she was a he? If so, Sunohara would become even more ridiculed. Wait wait, this couldn't be a guy. THAT'S IT! This was the punch line of Okazaki's joke. Tomoya laid out this whole perfect plan to get him a girl friend and then he paid one of the boys to dress like this and take up the offer. That guy was too ingenues, but Youhei figured him out this time! " Oh I see now, that was pretty good... but... I SEEN THROUGH THIS OKAZAKI!" Lashing one hand forward to Sakamoto's breast in a effort to reveal its false existence. After this, he'd get the reputation of the man with the keenest instincts on campus." You don't pass anything, I just revealed that you're a guy! What do you think the schools going to call me now huh?" Maybe something fancy like king of detectives, super sleuth or maybe a passer by might make the comment of " no one can fool those eyes." Oh yeah, vigilance had some serious pay off.