Post by kanameryuuji on Dec 9, 2021 16:31:41 GMT -6
||| KANAME RYUUJI |||
kusakabe hikaru ; doukyuusei
❁⦂ NAME
kaname ryuuji ( かなめ りゅう )
❁⦂ AGE
16
❁⦂ GENDER
male, he / him
❁⦂ SEXUALITY
gay
❁⦂ D.O.B
january 15th, 1988
❁⦂ OCCUPATION
high school student. he also works part - time at a cafe for extra cash, though that usually goes towards helping his mom pay for things.
❁⦂ YEAR && CLASS
2-B
❁⦂ HEIGHT
5'10" / 177 cm.
❁⦂ PHYSIQUE
ryuuji has a thin, lanky build. he's a few pounds underweight—something frequently pointed out by his mom, often paired with a poke to his sides or stomach that leaves bruises blooming on his skin.
❁⦂ HAIR COLOR && STYLE
unkempt golden blonde hair that reaches his shoulders. frequently left down, though occasionally he'll tie it into a loose ponytail when he needs to do something and doesn't want his hair in his face.
❁⦂ EYE COLOR
dark hazel or brown, depending on who you ask
❁⦂ OTHER APPEARANCE DETAILS
ryuuji is a bit of a klutz and has sensitive skin, so he can often be found with small cuts and bruises littering his body. his lobes are pierced but he only wears earrings outside of school because he doesn't want to get in trouble. has droopy eyes and slight eye bags.
❁⦂ CLOTHING STYLES
collared shirts with the first few buttons undone, skinny jeans, oversize hoodies because the bigger ones are always more comfortable. his earrings are usually just a pair of black stud earrings. also wears bracelets and necklaces to fidget with when he's nervous.
#Personality ;ryuuji is a loner. he's often sitting alone, listening to music or doodling away in that notebook of his that he never lets anybody see. he never really talks to anyone unless they approach him first. he might look cool from the perspective of an outsider: a handsome lone wolf lost in deep thought. but in reality, he's just kind of socially awkward and shy. he does want to be able to talk to and connect with his peers, but he just doesn't know how to start up a conversation. so he stays quiet and out of the way, hoping that one of them will approach him instead. that tactic has yet to work, so he hasn't been able to make any friends at school.
around the people he trusts, he's a lot more talkative and open. he rambles a lot about his passions and interests to whoever is willing to listen. if you ask him about what he likes, be prepared to watch his entire face light up as he goes off on a tangent about obscure victorian or edwardian history. but on top of being talkative, he's also a very good listener when it comes to others. he loves hearing about the things other people are passionate about, it makes him happy that somebody would trust him not to judge them. he knows what it's like to feel like a bother or an annoyance, so he goes through great lengths to make sure that he doesn't make anybody else feel that way. he knows better than anyone else how awful it can feel to be brushed aside.
he cares a lot about the people close to him and prides himself on being the one that others come to when they need emotional support or a shoulder to lean on. this used to be healthy. he just wanted to be there for his friends and family when they needed him, and what's wrong with that? but as the years went on and it seemed like the people in his life saw him as more of a free therapist than just a teenager trying to be a good friend, he developed anxiety about it. ("am i doing it right?" "i have to help people. it's my value as a person." "what if i stopped? would they still like me? would i still have presence?") this issue has caused him to neglect his own needs in favor of everyone else. don't worry, he just needs some reassurance and comfort from loved ones.
though he's friendly, ryuuji has trouble regulating his emotions beyond the extremes, especially when those emotions are negative. his caring, sensitive nature and short temper make for a dizzying mixture of people-pleasing and screaming matches when he get pushed over the edge. often, he will try to bottle his anger up, but it always ends up boiling over. he sometimes finds himself spiraling from intrusive thoughts and having meltdowns in his room after arguments with his mom or friends. and once the intense, burning white-hot rage fades from his bones, feeling mortified at himself for getting so worked up over something so small. he hates it because he doesn't want to act like such a selfish, entitled brat who can't handle his own emotions, but he can't help it.
#History ;it's always just been ryuuji and his mom.
his dad left before he was born, terrified at the thought of this newfound responsibility and under the impression that he could not be trusted to take care of another human being. his mom, kaname hikari, was furious at the abandonment. having grown up without a father of her own and believing that her boyfriend would be different, she couldn't help but feel a strong sense of despair and betrayal. she managed to pull herself together though. she didn't have time to wallow in self-pity and anger, she had a child to raise and she refused to let her hurt interfere with her ability to take care of him. she would not be a deadbeat.
money was always tight for the kaname family. hikari often found herself working little odd jobs to keep food on the able. it was hard to find work that would let her take ryuuji with her, but she didn't really have any other options. she didn't have any close friends to watch him and she couldn't afford to pay a babysitter. she did learn that playing up the pity aspect sometimes worked. most people don't want to be the reason that a child goes hungry. did hikari feel bad about manipulating and guilt-tripping people? no, not at all. she needed the money and she would do whatever it took to get it, including using her struggles as leverage.
she had a bit of an easier time finding jobs when ryuuji was starting middle school. by that point, he already knew how to take care of himself fairly well and was fine to be left home alone. but it did mean they rarely saw each other. their schedules scarcely matched up—hikari was already at work when ryuuji woke up, and ryuuji was already in bed by the time hikari got home. they were lucky to see each other for a few minutes. ryuuji would sometimes try to stay up just to say good night, but he always ended up passing out on the couch and having to be carried to bed by his mom when she did eventually come home.
at school, ryuuji was well-liked. his outgoing, talkative, and daring nature made him popular with the boys in his class. while his more gentle, soft-spoken and sweet side made him popular with the girls. a few of them even had a crush on him. he retrieved a couple of romantic chocolates on valentine's day, along with a confession, and it was always an awkward moment for both parties for him to quietly admit that he wasn't interested in them like that. they were usually pretty okay with it and didn't push, which was lucky for ryuuji. he really didn't want to explain the reason he was completely uninterested in them.The Roleplayer's Corner
#Nickname ;
#Age ; Optional.
#Gender ; Optional.
#Roleplay Experience ;
#Experience with Clannad ;
#How did you find us? ;
#Sample Writing ;SAMPLE WRITING HERE