Post by Nakamura Hanako on Jun 22, 2019 23:26:58 GMT -6
||| NAKAMURA HANAKO |||
Mirai Kuriyama ; Kyoukai no Kanata
source: official art
#Height ; 5'0"
#Weight ; 90 lbs
#Physique ; Petite
#Hair color and style ; Wavy, light brown hair styled in a chin-length bob with fringe reaching her eyebrows
#Eye color ; Golden
#Clothing styles ; In fashion, some are Hanako's highlights are loose threads, heavy sweaters with warm autumn hues, shoes so worn they no longer have tread, hair ribbons, wool scarves that tickle the neck, and complementary colors and patterned motifs. So, with her glasses always included, one of her outfits could be a loose thread baggy asymmetrical shirt, a wool scarf, and worn shoes. Another of her outfits could be a heavy sweater in warm autumn hues with a leaf pattern motif.
#Personality ;
Although appearing very shy and soft-spoken upon first meeting, Hanako quickly opens up into a warm and kind person. If sugar was a person, she would be the physical embodiment. She's incredibly sweet and kind to everybody, whether or not they truly deserve it. After all, why should she waste her time being cruel to people? She tends to give almost as many gifts as she does compliments, as due to being raised a very sheltered child, she is very easily impressed. Her honesty and lack of knowledge of social norms tend to lead to some unexpected word-vomit praises, but her heart is in the right place. She just wants to appreciate all the people she can while they’re in her life! She, however meek or shy she may come across as still holds a noble heart and a deep seeded need to help how she can.
Despite her kindness, Hanako can be extremely brutal with her words. She does this unintentionally though, as nothing she says is meant as ill-spirited or mean. She is simply a very blunt person. She greatly dislikes lying, and sees no point in it unless telling the truth puts someone in danger. She is blunt to the point of it being comical, and is unafraid to state her opinions. If she hates someone, she'll tell them so. But only if they ask how she feels about them. And this greatly contradicts with her kind nature, as telling someone you hate them definitely isn't kind at all. But although it isn't necessarily a nice thing to do, she doesn't see it as mean. It's not as if she's saying it be malicious, after all, and she will still act kindly towards people no matter how much she hates them.
One thing that contradicts her distaste for lying is that, when it comes to her own negative feelings, she will lie to other people. This is different, she tells herself. She lies to people so she won't burden them with her feelings, most of which she believes aren't that important to begin with. However, no matter how much she lies about it, it's still painfully obvious when she's upset about something. Her entire demeanor changes. She won't smile — and Hanako is almost always smiling. Even if it's a small, almost non-existent one, there is almost always a smile on her face. And she'll speak in a sad, somewhat distant tone of voice. Her sentences will be short and to the point, and she'll try to avoid speaking as much as possible because it takes so much energy to force the words out and she can hardly do it.
She is a very hyper-empathetic person. When she sees someone upset, she can't comfort them. It's too overwhelming. To even look at them makes her feel overcome with whatever sad emotions she imagines they're feeling. And this is important: she's not psychic. She's reacting to her perception of how they feel - and due to her sensitivity, she tends to overestimate the severity of other people's feelings, which causes her to feel more strongly than she probably should.
She cannot comprehend teasing, bullying, or any kind of hurting another person intentionally. If she called someone a name she knew would upset them, it would hurt her even more than she'd hurt them. The idea that someone would feel strong by putting down someone else is completely foreign to me. This also prevents her from understanding why anyone would tease or bully her.
Hanako can't watch a sad scene in a film or hear sad music without crying. She can't talk about her feelings without crying. She can't talk about anything emotional without crying. This can be very embarrassing. This can be very embarrassing. For example, she might be trying to tell one of her friends that she feels really proud of herself for doing better in that class that she was having trouble in – and whoops, she's crying again. She actually has anxiety about watching films with other people, because there is always at least one moment at the climax of the film where emotional music plays, and – yep, you guessed it. Crying.
Hanako can become overwhelmed easily, often when it comes to having to be around a large group of people or when there's a lot of noise. She can also become overwhelmed if she's stressed out about something, no matter how small it may seem to other people. Hell, sometimes she'll become overwhelmed for reasons she can't even explain. Everything could be going perfectly, and suddenly it's too loud and bright and everything hurts.
Hanako has little 'quirks' that she does, and these quirks usually change based on how she's feeling. She once heard her mother refer to these as stims. If she's excited and stimming, she often shakes her hands back and forth or bounce a bit. Sometimes she'll run and squeak with her hands raised if she's particularly excited. When she does excited stims, she does them because there's this bubbling inside of her. If she doesn't stim it out, she has to wriggle her body like she has a chill. It feels like he's about to burst with happiness, and it often fuels itself. Stimming this way relieves that pressure from the inside, per say, but often makes her feel happy in a positive feedback loop. She pretty much does that until she feels more calm and then she's calmly happy. It's also very fun to engage in echolalia, and it tends to prompt further elation. People say she's cute when she does these, but she doesn't feel cute necessarily, it's just like pure joy.
When she's this joyful, she's not as sensitive to things around her unless they're a sensation she hates (if she can, she'll run away with an impulse to a squawk from that bad situation). If she feels relaxed enough, she'll let herself peep and shake from pretty much sensation in this state. Holding back any of these stims/expressions of happiness is physically uncomfortable.
If Hanako's fascinated by something, she'll sometimes inadvertently do 'happy' stims, but it doesn't feel like relieving bubbly pressure from inside her abdomen like it does when she's excited. It's, instead, a simple expression of focus. She'll often engage in delayed echolalia, repeating lines she heard or read from a lecture, show/movie, article, etc. This helps her think, but has no noticeable affect on sensations around her. It's kind of neutral.
If she's distressed, she feels about to crumble or lash out in fear or agitation, like she's shaking at the seams. She likes to have something heavy on top of her, as it's very grounding. If she doesn't have access to something heavy, she hugs herself and rocks. These things all ground her body and keep her from feeling like she's vibrating from all the sound of unpleasant touch (sound is often her most sensitive modality, a great source of joy from some sounds
#History ;
Hanako's father left when she was very young. She has a few a memories of him from when she was around two-years-old, but he's always imagined as a shadow. She can't remember what he looks like at all – trust me, she's tried. And her mother has no pictures of him in the house. There's nothing Hanako has from her father. It's like he never even existed.
Hanako has always pretended not to care that her father left them. He wasn't important. He left, after all. There was absolutely no reason for her to care about him. But it's very obvious that she really does care, as shown by her lashing out whenever the topic of her father is brought up. She acts like she hates them, that he could die and she would be happy. But truthfully, she misses her dad a lot and often blames herself for him leaving.
So, it's basically always been Hanako and her mom. Being a single mother, Miss Nakamura struggled. A lot. Luckily, they lived in a neighborhood with very kind people who were happy to offer them money or food. But being the stubborn woman she was, Miss Nakumara often refused these offers. She could handle it own her own, after all. She wasn't so weak that she had to mooch off of other people. But if she wanted to put food on the table, she had to accept the offers sometimes. She tried to avoid it as much as possible, though.
It was when Hanako was four-years-old that her mother realized that she was...different from other children. For one thing, she would repeat words or phrases for no particular reason. She would also refuse to wear certain clothes or eat certain foods because "they felt bad". And she couldn't handle bright lights or loud noises, either. Even the sound of a train would cause her to start sobbing and scratching at her skin.
So, Miss Nakamura took Hanako to the doctor to see if he knew if there was something wrong with her. That's how they found out she was autistic. Her mother tried her best to understand, and did a lot of research. Unfortunately, there was a lot of false information. But she was – and still is – trying her best.
As she got older, Hanako become much more extroverted than she was as a child. She tried her hardest to make friends, but people found her "too weird" and avoided her like the plague. Those who did become friends with her only did so that they could talk about her behind her back, and tell other people how weird she was. But Hanako never stopped trying to make friends. This only caused people to bully her more severely, as her openness and kind nature made her very easy to take advantage of.
So, Hanako stopped being extroverted. She never stopped being kind to people, no. She knew what it was like to be ridiculed and bullied, and she would never wish that upon someone else no matter how awful they were. But she drew farther back within herself. She stopped trying to make friends, stopped interacting with other people. Most of her time was spent in her room, hidden away from the world.
#Nickname ; Milkii
#Age (optional) ; 14
#Gender (optional) ; Female
#Roleplay Experience ; I've been role-playing for about four years now, although I certainly haven't done it in awhile. I'm trying to get back into it, though! I find it really fun, and it helps improves my writing skills.
Other Characters (if any) ; N/A
#Seen the anime/played the visual novel? ; I've seen about two or three episodes of the anime, but that was long ago. I really want to get back into it, but I don't know where I can watch it without any ads.
How did you find us? ; I had searched 'Clannad' and was scrolling through Google, and this page popped up. I'm really happy I found it, too! It seems fun, and the people here seem really kind.
#Sample Writing ;
From the moment Hanako woke up, she knew that it was going to be a bad day. Everything just felt like too much ― it was too loud, too bright, too busy. Even the sound of other peoples' breathing sounded like nails against a chalkboard today. Her skin was crawling, too. It was a strange sensation, one that she couldn't quite describe. But her skin felt...bad. That was the only way she could think of to describe it. Bad.
She sat in her desk, discreetly scratching at her arms. She knew that this would hurt later, and she would regret it, but it was helping right now. It kept her from breaking down, and that's exactly what she needed. She just needed to stay calm until the last class of the day was over. 'It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost -"
Her thoughts were abruptly cut off by the sound of the school bell. Her hands flew up automatically to cover her eyes, and her eyes squeezed shut. She pulled her legs up onto the chair, and buried her face into her knees. It was five minutes before she moved it all. She hesitantly lifted her head up. Yes, the noise was gone. Finally.
Hanako stood up, swinging her bag over her chair. She smiled to herself, even though she felt miserable and anxious and wanted to cry. She had survived another day without breaking down in school. She couldn't help but feel just a little bit proud of herself.
#Name ; Nakamura Hanako
#Age ; 15
#Gender ; Female
#Sexuality ; Homosexual / Lesbian
#D.O.B. ; May 9th, 1988
#Occupation ; Full-Time Student
#Year and class ; 1-A
#Height ; 5'0"
#Weight ; 90 lbs
#Physique ; Petite
#Hair color and style ; Wavy, light brown hair styled in a chin-length bob with fringe reaching her eyebrows
#Eye color ; Golden
#Clothing styles ; In fashion, some are Hanako's highlights are loose threads, heavy sweaters with warm autumn hues, shoes so worn they no longer have tread, hair ribbons, wool scarves that tickle the neck, and complementary colors and patterned motifs. So, with her glasses always included, one of her outfits could be a loose thread baggy asymmetrical shirt, a wool scarf, and worn shoes. Another of her outfits could be a heavy sweater in warm autumn hues with a leaf pattern motif.
#Personality ;
Although appearing very shy and soft-spoken upon first meeting, Hanako quickly opens up into a warm and kind person. If sugar was a person, she would be the physical embodiment. She's incredibly sweet and kind to everybody, whether or not they truly deserve it. After all, why should she waste her time being cruel to people? She tends to give almost as many gifts as she does compliments, as due to being raised a very sheltered child, she is very easily impressed. Her honesty and lack of knowledge of social norms tend to lead to some unexpected word-vomit praises, but her heart is in the right place. She just wants to appreciate all the people she can while they’re in her life! She, however meek or shy she may come across as still holds a noble heart and a deep seeded need to help how she can.
Despite her kindness, Hanako can be extremely brutal with her words. She does this unintentionally though, as nothing she says is meant as ill-spirited or mean. She is simply a very blunt person. She greatly dislikes lying, and sees no point in it unless telling the truth puts someone in danger. She is blunt to the point of it being comical, and is unafraid to state her opinions. If she hates someone, she'll tell them so. But only if they ask how she feels about them. And this greatly contradicts with her kind nature, as telling someone you hate them definitely isn't kind at all. But although it isn't necessarily a nice thing to do, she doesn't see it as mean. It's not as if she's saying it be malicious, after all, and she will still act kindly towards people no matter how much she hates them.
One thing that contradicts her distaste for lying is that, when it comes to her own negative feelings, she will lie to other people. This is different, she tells herself. She lies to people so she won't burden them with her feelings, most of which she believes aren't that important to begin with. However, no matter how much she lies about it, it's still painfully obvious when she's upset about something. Her entire demeanor changes. She won't smile — and Hanako is almost always smiling. Even if it's a small, almost non-existent one, there is almost always a smile on her face. And she'll speak in a sad, somewhat distant tone of voice. Her sentences will be short and to the point, and she'll try to avoid speaking as much as possible because it takes so much energy to force the words out and she can hardly do it.
She is a very hyper-empathetic person. When she sees someone upset, she can't comfort them. It's too overwhelming. To even look at them makes her feel overcome with whatever sad emotions she imagines they're feeling. And this is important: she's not psychic. She's reacting to her perception of how they feel - and due to her sensitivity, she tends to overestimate the severity of other people's feelings, which causes her to feel more strongly than she probably should.
She cannot comprehend teasing, bullying, or any kind of hurting another person intentionally. If she called someone a name she knew would upset them, it would hurt her even more than she'd hurt them. The idea that someone would feel strong by putting down someone else is completely foreign to me. This also prevents her from understanding why anyone would tease or bully her.
Hanako can't watch a sad scene in a film or hear sad music without crying. She can't talk about her feelings without crying. She can't talk about anything emotional without crying. This can be very embarrassing. This can be very embarrassing. For example, she might be trying to tell one of her friends that she feels really proud of herself for doing better in that class that she was having trouble in – and whoops, she's crying again. She actually has anxiety about watching films with other people, because there is always at least one moment at the climax of the film where emotional music plays, and – yep, you guessed it. Crying.
Hanako can become overwhelmed easily, often when it comes to having to be around a large group of people or when there's a lot of noise. She can also become overwhelmed if she's stressed out about something, no matter how small it may seem to other people. Hell, sometimes she'll become overwhelmed for reasons she can't even explain. Everything could be going perfectly, and suddenly it's too loud and bright and everything hurts.
Hanako has little 'quirks' that she does, and these quirks usually change based on how she's feeling. She once heard her mother refer to these as stims. If she's excited and stimming, she often shakes her hands back and forth or bounce a bit. Sometimes she'll run and squeak with her hands raised if she's particularly excited. When she does excited stims, she does them because there's this bubbling inside of her. If she doesn't stim it out, she has to wriggle her body like she has a chill. It feels like he's about to burst with happiness, and it often fuels itself. Stimming this way relieves that pressure from the inside, per say, but often makes her feel happy in a positive feedback loop. She pretty much does that until she feels more calm and then she's calmly happy. It's also very fun to engage in echolalia, and it tends to prompt further elation. People say she's cute when she does these, but she doesn't feel cute necessarily, it's just like pure joy.
When she's this joyful, she's not as sensitive to things around her unless they're a sensation she hates (if she can, she'll run away with an impulse to a squawk from that bad situation). If she feels relaxed enough, she'll let herself peep and shake from pretty much sensation in this state. Holding back any of these stims/expressions of happiness is physically uncomfortable.
If Hanako's fascinated by something, she'll sometimes inadvertently do 'happy' stims, but it doesn't feel like relieving bubbly pressure from inside her abdomen like it does when she's excited. It's, instead, a simple expression of focus. She'll often engage in delayed echolalia, repeating lines she heard or read from a lecture, show/movie, article, etc. This helps her think, but has no noticeable affect on sensations around her. It's kind of neutral.
If she's distressed, she feels about to crumble or lash out in fear or agitation, like she's shaking at the seams. She likes to have something heavy on top of her, as it's very grounding. If she doesn't have access to something heavy, she hugs herself and rocks. These things all ground her body and keep her from feeling like she's vibrating from all the sound of unpleasant touch (sound is often her most sensitive modality, a great source of joy from some sounds
#History ;
Hanako's father left when she was very young. She has a few a memories of him from when she was around two-years-old, but he's always imagined as a shadow. She can't remember what he looks like at all – trust me, she's tried. And her mother has no pictures of him in the house. There's nothing Hanako has from her father. It's like he never even existed.
Hanako has always pretended not to care that her father left them. He wasn't important. He left, after all. There was absolutely no reason for her to care about him. But it's very obvious that she really does care, as shown by her lashing out whenever the topic of her father is brought up. She acts like she hates them, that he could die and she would be happy. But truthfully, she misses her dad a lot and often blames herself for him leaving.
So, it's basically always been Hanako and her mom. Being a single mother, Miss Nakamura struggled. A lot. Luckily, they lived in a neighborhood with very kind people who were happy to offer them money or food. But being the stubborn woman she was, Miss Nakumara often refused these offers. She could handle it own her own, after all. She wasn't so weak that she had to mooch off of other people. But if she wanted to put food on the table, she had to accept the offers sometimes. She tried to avoid it as much as possible, though.
It was when Hanako was four-years-old that her mother realized that she was...different from other children. For one thing, she would repeat words or phrases for no particular reason. She would also refuse to wear certain clothes or eat certain foods because "they felt bad". And she couldn't handle bright lights or loud noises, either. Even the sound of a train would cause her to start sobbing and scratching at her skin.
So, Miss Nakamura took Hanako to the doctor to see if he knew if there was something wrong with her. That's how they found out she was autistic. Her mother tried her best to understand, and did a lot of research. Unfortunately, there was a lot of false information. But she was – and still is – trying her best.
As she got older, Hanako become much more extroverted than she was as a child. She tried her hardest to make friends, but people found her "too weird" and avoided her like the plague. Those who did become friends with her only did so that they could talk about her behind her back, and tell other people how weird she was. But Hanako never stopped trying to make friends. This only caused people to bully her more severely, as her openness and kind nature made her very easy to take advantage of.
So, Hanako stopped being extroverted. She never stopped being kind to people, no. She knew what it was like to be ridiculed and bullied, and she would never wish that upon someone else no matter how awful they were. But she drew farther back within herself. She stopped trying to make friends, stopped interacting with other people. Most of her time was spent in her room, hidden away from the world.
The Roleplayer's Corner
#Age (optional) ; 14
#Gender (optional) ; Female
#Roleplay Experience ; I've been role-playing for about four years now, although I certainly haven't done it in awhile. I'm trying to get back into it, though! I find it really fun, and it helps improves my writing skills.
Other Characters (if any) ; N/A
#Seen the anime/played the visual novel? ; I've seen about two or three episodes of the anime, but that was long ago. I really want to get back into it, but I don't know where I can watch it without any ads.
How did you find us? ; I had searched 'Clannad' and was scrolling through Google, and this page popped up. I'm really happy I found it, too! It seems fun, and the people here seem really kind.
#Sample Writing ;
From the moment Hanako woke up, she knew that it was going to be a bad day. Everything just felt like too much ― it was too loud, too bright, too busy. Even the sound of other peoples' breathing sounded like nails against a chalkboard today. Her skin was crawling, too. It was a strange sensation, one that she couldn't quite describe. But her skin felt...bad. That was the only way she could think of to describe it. Bad.
She sat in her desk, discreetly scratching at her arms. She knew that this would hurt later, and she would regret it, but it was helping right now. It kept her from breaking down, and that's exactly what she needed. She just needed to stay calm until the last class of the day was over. 'It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost -"
Her thoughts were abruptly cut off by the sound of the school bell. Her hands flew up automatically to cover her eyes, and her eyes squeezed shut. She pulled her legs up onto the chair, and buried her face into her knees. It was five minutes before she moved it all. She hesitantly lifted her head up. Yes, the noise was gone. Finally.
Hanako stood up, swinging her bag over her chair. She smiled to herself, even though she felt miserable and anxious and wanted to cry. She had survived another day without breaking down in school. She couldn't help but feel just a little bit proud of herself.